“Here’s the thing, okay? If we’re gonna keep doing this, you guys gotta meet me halfway out there, I mean, let’s face it, it’s not a good week if, every week, I, the Son of God, have to come in, drop everything, and bail out the Denver Broncos in the fourth quarter, okay? I’m a…
Blog
Fresh Cherry Margaritas
Last week I went on a Writing Retreat. Does that sound fancy? Serene? A tad self-indulgent? Are you picturing a secluded cabin in a beautiful, wooded, naturescape like the Catskills? Or perhaps a little seaside villa overlooking an idyllic rocky seaside in Maine? Are you possibly imagining a formally organized retreat, some lovely company that…
Blistered Cucumbers with Spicy Seeds
“Pick a Senate race. Seriously. Please. Thank you.” —Senator Brian Schatz (D-HI) I feel weird talking about voting come November. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in no way suggesting we not. It’s just that I’ve become increasingly convinced that America is not getting to the other side of Trump without our own Euromaidan, which makes…
Falling Down Brown Cow
Imagine you are running a marathon with the goal of winning the race. I feel like it’s important to explicitly say the part about trying to win, because if I were to run a marathon, my only goal would be don’t die. But anyways, you’re running this marathon, for which you’ve trained for months if…
Chilled Red Pepper Soup with Cold Fried Chicken and Goat Cheese
Last November (2019), columnist Daniel Lavery tweeted about a scandal and coverup he had witnessed take place in his father’s Bay Area evangelical megachurch. Lavery is an author, co-founder of the late feminist website The Toast, and Slate Magazine’s Dear Prudence advice columnist*. His father is Reverend John Ortberg, former teaching pastor at Willow Creek…
Blueberry Cornflake Muffins
“But privilege isn’t about what you’ve gone through; it’s about what you haven’t had to go through.” —Janaya Future Khan Welp, I guess we have to talk about Lady G, and no, I do not mean Gaga. Lefty Twitter shit its pants last week because a D.C.-based male sex worker tweeting under the name Sean…
Strawberry Sumac Jam with Ricotta Biscuits
Due to the mere existence and long-suffering stubbornness of climate change deniers, I suppose it’s unsurprising that we’re now seeing COVID deniers too. Anyone who still has a Facebook account knows what I’m talking about. It’s scary, yet so tiresome; do we have to do this again? Apparently. COVID denialism, and my annoyance therewith, got…
Grilled Shrimp with Tabasco-Tarragon Butter
“I’ve been pushed in front of video as a display of diversity. In reality, currently only white editors are paid for their video appearances. None of the people of color have been compensated.” —Sohla El-Waylly By now, anyone who even slightly follows food media news knows that Bon Appetit Magazine’s editor in chief Adam Rapoport…
Mustard-Herb Vinaigrette
“They have every outlet you can imagine. They can pull out their gun and shoot a man walking down the street if they’re having a rough day. And who stops them? No-one.” —Lianne Noel I’m publishing this on June 5, 2020. This is the eleventh straight day of sustained protests because Officer Derek Chauvin of…
Multigrain Pancakes Actually Worth Eating
Pancakes may be humankind’s finest invention. Whoever first said, “Hey I know! Let’s just pour beautiful cake batter onto a buttery hot skillet and see what happens!” deserves the highest honors society can bestow. I’ve been a persistent and enthusiastic pancake lover since before the age of concrete memories, but once I reached (supposedly mature)…
