“…the guru is an expert at gaming privilege. Many of his so-called life hacks are just that, hacks – sly methods of disrupting other people’s resources for the sake of your own. If you happen to have a few demographic advantages, plus the raw self-loathing and lack of affection for humanity that tend to accompany…
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Not Just Another Kale Salad
“I was taught that it was Eve who ended paradise with her hunger. But lately, I have begun to wonder if it wasn’t all over from the very moment it was created. All paradise is doomed to end. And yet we keep trying to create it.” —Lyz Lenz, Empty the Pews The last book that…
Seriously Dirty Martini
The end of 2019 is directly upon us, bearing down like a terrifying freight train or creeping in like a tortoise on downers, depending on your perspective and experience. Whatever anyone’s personal impression, we all agree this is the time of year every media outlet obsesses over (usually) best-of year-end lists. I feel the compulsion…
Sausage and Sage Biscuits
“He [George Bailey] wasn’t trying to extract value out of those folks. He just used a different method for determining who was creditworthy. … He didn’t try to do accelerated mortgages that were going to cost people their homes or suck thousands of dollars of value out of every transaction. They were trying to help…
Salted Butterscotch Walnut Fudge
“History will remember those willing to speak truth to power. Yes, I called for Trump’s impeachment early. This is our country. Our foremothers and forefathers shed their blood to defend this democracy. I refuse to have it undermined. I wholeheartedly support this resolution and am proud in the final analysis justice will have served in…
Gingerbread Morning Buns
“Above all, autocrats succeed when democrats falter, squabble, and dither.” —Michael Hirsch, Foreign Policy As I’m writing this, the House Judiciary Committee is preparing to vote on whether to advance two articles of impeachment of President Donald Trump. I feel certain the vote will be cast by the time I hit publish. I haven’t been…
Gentleman’s Relish on Toast
“You all think Christmas just happens? You think all this goodwill just falls from the freakin’ sky? Well, it doesn’t! It falls out of my holly jolly butt! So, you can cook your own damn turkey, wrap your own damn presents! And while you’re at it, you can all ride a one-horse open sleigh to…
Stollen
“Despite being a widespread practice, baking requires a burdensome amount of precision to get right. You can’t just wing the flour amounts and whatnot. If you do, whatever’s in the oven will end up betraying you. So it’s funny that the universal test for such a finicky discipline of cooking boils down to DURRRR just…
Frosted Eggnog Cookies
“They say you never forget your first time, though in the case of your first high it’d be perfectly understandable if you did. Maybe you had a giggling fit. Maybe you got really absorbed in petting the carpet … Whatever you were doing the first time you got stoned, you probably look back on that…
Tahini and Cranberry Whole Wheat Skillet Cookie
Do you know why I originally made this unique and holiday-appropriate skillet cookie last year? Because I had half a bag of fresh cranberries left over from something and I didn’t want to waste them. That’s it, that’s the whole reason. Fascinating! And that, my dear friends, is why I rarely write about food on…
