• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Jalapenos & Anchovies

  • Home
  • About
  • Recipe Index
  • FAQ
  • Comment Policy
  • Good Reads

Kale and Broccoli Yogurt Caesar with Torn Croutons

January 11, 2021 by Julie Leave a Comment

Jump to Recipe Print Recipe

Kale and Broccoli Yogurt Caesar with Torn Croutons

“If you’re just now getting on the boat of recognizing that Trump is an autocrat, a fascist, and a menace to democracy, welcome aboard. But please don’t take the most comfortable seats and feel entitled to navigate. Some people have been aboard awhile and their feet are tired.” —Anand Giridharadas

2020. It’s over. Finally. I think most writers feel a pull of obligation to write something halfway inspiring about the possibilities of 2021 (a covid vaccine! A new president! Minority Leader Mitch McConnell!). But, seeing as we couldn’t even get one week in without Nazis doing an insurrection on our nation’s Capitol, I suppose we can dispense with the usual salutations and formalities. 

torn baguette for croutons

If this week’s events surprised you in any way, you have not been paying attention or you have been listening to the wrong experts. To elaborate, wrong experts = rich mostly white pundits, media elites, “legal analysts”, and most of the New York Times op-ed section. All of what happened on January 6th, 2021 was entirely predictable, in no small part because they literally told us they were going to do it. It’s also completely consistent with the usual process of how democracies fall. Trump made many different attempts to steal the election first; when those attempts faltered, he tried tampering with the interregnum. That also failed, which, according to the dictator’s playbook, means violence was inevitable. If soft coups fail, they typically turn to hard coups. This is where we are in the process. Some sort of Reichstag fire and martial law could well be next. 

Ingredients for yogurt Caesar dressing

The people breaking into our Capitol were domestic terrorists, not protesters. The police were complicit, not unprepared. This was coordinated and organized, and possibly a dry run for something much worse. Just because it *could* have been worse, or because some plans *may* have been thwarted doesn’t mean “our institutions held” or “democracy won” or whatever inane ostrich shit the Yglesii of the world are spewing. We’re in a very dangerous period. President-elect Biden’s win was – eventually! – certified by Congress, which is good, but we still have two weeks until inauguration. (And is it just me, or is anyone else flummoxed and irritated he’s even having an inauguration? There’s a pandemic raging and all kinds of crises awaiting, not to mention the heightened threat of violence. Just have a simple, somber swearing in from a safe, undisclosed location, livestream and televise it, and then immediately get to work. No fanfare, no accidental superspreader event, no opportunity for another violent MAGA riot. Show Americans they can trust their government again with your seriousness. Okay, rant over.) 

kale and broccoli

Next time – and yes, there will be a next time – I implore everyone to, please, listen to the alarmists. Who are the alarmists, exactly? We are, including but not limited to: exvangelicals aka people who escaped or left evangelical Christianity and the Religious Right; scholars of fascism, authoritarianism, and how democracies die; survivors or refugees of other authoritarian countries; BIPOC progressive activists; investigative journalists who haven’t shied away from writing about Trump’s sordid criminal connections; and, general dissidents. 

We warned Trump would try to steal the election, and he did. We warned it was a coup, an attempt to overthrow an election, and that’s exactly what it is. We warned that you cannot simply vote out a fascist, and we are being proved correct. We warned that our Democratic leadership, including Joe Biden, wasn’t up to the task of mounting a proper opposition – and as if on cue, Speaker Pelosi adjourned Congress for two weeks, literally the day after the president incited a violent attack on the Capitol. 

Kale and Broccoli Yogurt Caesar with Torn Croutons

And now we are warning that if these domestic terrorists and criminals, including Trump himself plus his inner circle, aren’t held accountable for their crimes and human rights atrocities, then this will happen again – probably with the exact same vile cast of characters. If our opposition party teaches fascists that there are no consequences, that is precisely what lesson they will learn. The danger of setting that precedent cannot be overstated. These fascist terrorists aren’t idiots; the Chewbacca bikini guy isn’t in charge of the show. No, they are velociraptors testing the fences for weaknesses. Even if this current coup fails, they are taking notes, and you can be assured they won’t make the same mistakes a second time. As any political scientist can tell you, failed coups are often followed by successful coups.

Biden has choices here. And if he chooses to embolden domestic terrorists and the powerful people committed to overthrowing liberal democracy in the name of “unity” and “bipartisanship” and “moving on,” then we’re good and fucked. We cannot heal or “build back” without justice and accountability. I don’t want to hear the word unity ever again. If you are only looking forward and never backward, then your enemy has plenty of space and opportunity to sneak up behind you with a more sophisticated attack. 

Kale and Broccoli Yogurt Caesar with Torn Croutons

Following is a list (however incomplete, and in reverse alphabetical order) of superb sources for learning more about authoritarianism, white supremacy, the Trump regime, the underbelly of the Religious Right, and how it can happen here. Nobody on this list is a flawless human, and everyone makes occasional mistakes, myself included. But they are, as the saying goes, good eggs. Follow them on Twitter, Google to find their articles, read their books:

Vicky Ward                        Malcolm Nance                        Umair Haque
Craig Unger                       Elie Mystal                                Anand Giridharadas
Jennifer Taub                    Jane Mayer                               Imani Gandy
Chrissy Stroop                  Olga Lautman                           David Enrich
Katherine Stewart            Sarah Kendzior                        Mona Eltahawey
Jason Stanley                    Ibram X. Kendi                        Jennifer Cohn
Timothy Snyder                Garry Kasparov                        Brian Beutler
Jared Yates Sexton          David Cay Johnston                Ruth Ben-Ghiat
Sarah Posner                     Adam Jentleson                       Bree Newsome Bass
Ijeoma Oluo                       Luke Harding                           Anne Applebaum

Print Recipe

Kale and Broccoli Yogurt Caesar with Torn Croutons

Author: Julie Wallace of Jalapenos & Anchovies

Ingredients

TORN CROUTONS:

  • Half a baguette, Sperlonga, Italian bread loaf, or any other crusty bread (although fwiw I don’t like sourdough for this, ymmv)
  • Olive oil, for drizzling
  • Kosher salt and fresh cracked black pepper

YOGURT CAESAR DRESSING:

  • ½ cup + 1 heaping tbs Greek yogurt
  • 2-3 tbs lemon juice
  • 2 tbs grated parmesan
  • 1 tbs Dijon mustard
  • 1 generous tbs anchovy paste
  • 2 garlic cloves, minced
  • Kosher salt and fresh cracked black pepper

SALAD:

  • 1 bunch of lacinato kale, ribs stripped and chopped into bite-size pieces
  • 1 small head of broccoli
  • Extra grated parmesan
  • Extra fresh cracked black pepper (optional)

Instructions

TORN CROUTONS:

  • Preheat your oven to 400 F. Tear the bread into bite-size, uneven pieces, about the size of, well, croutons. Transfer them to a baking sheet, then drizzle liberally with olive oil. Season to taste with kosher salt and black pepper. Toss to coat evenly, then spread out in a single layer. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, depending on how crunchy you like your croutons. I prefer only 10 minutes to give the centers a little chew. Let cool.

YOGURT CAESAR DRESSING:

  • Whisk all ingredients in a small mixing bowl. Taste for seasoning and add more of whatever you think it needs to achieve your exact desired flavor and texture. Caesar salad dressing is somewhat subjective. I like mine heavy on the anchovy and just slightly runny, so I err on the higher side of anchovy paste and lemon juice.

SALAD:

  • Add the kale to a large mixing bowl. Massage it with your hands for about a minute. Let it hang out while you chop the broccoli into bite-size pieces, then add the broccoli to the bowl. I only use the florets - personal preference - but if you like the stems, I don’t see why you can’t use them here.
  • Pour in about two-thirds of the dressing and toss well to combine. Now add the croutons, as many as you prefer (you’ll likely have made too many, this isn’t a problem), the remaining dressing, and a small handful of extra grated parmesan. Toss again to thoroughly combine. If you lightly smash a few croutons in the process, consider it a feature not a bug. Serve immediately, with a few grinds of black pepper and another sprinkle of grated parmesan, if you like.

Notes

Recipe was developed by Julie Wallace of Jalapenos & Anchovies, with a conceptual assist from Justin Chapple. In his most recent cookbook, Just Cook It!, Chapple published a recipe for a Caesar salad but with yogurt instead of mayonnaise or egg yolks, and with radicchio and shaved raw cauliflower instead of lettuce. I was intrigued by his idea but the particular veggies didn’t appeal to me. So I used my own personal favorites, kale and broccoli, then changed up his dressing recipe to suit my own tastes, then added my newest favorite obsession: torn croutons. Torn croutons are superior to regular croutons in every way. Easier and less messy to prepare the bread; they soak up more dressing with their uneven craggy edges; and just, more fun to eat. This recipe will likely make too many croutons for a well-balanced salad, but they are delicious for snacking, so I categorized this as Not A Problem. I hope you enjoy this one!
Previous Post

Filed Under: Salads

Previous Post: « A Very Wrong and Offensive Vodka Martini
Next Post: Grapefruit and Earl Grey Bread »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

subscribe

jalapenosandanchovies

jalapenosandanchovies
Chocolate Tahini Sheet Cake with Tahini Frosting i Chocolate Tahini Sheet Cake with Tahini Frosting is #ontheblog 👍👍
Today culminates one of the darkest weeks I've seen in a long time. I strongly suspected some sort of chaos would happen January 6th, but was still shaken by the depravity of it. One aspect I can't shake or wrap my head around is how we're all just... expected to go on with life. After watching half of Congress almost get assassinated. That happened, we saw it live, and it's just, go back to work, do the laundry, go on about your routine. No day of mourning, no time off to process the trauma. 

I feel very weird sharing recipes. Who's even thinking about cooking rn? There's no real way to rationalize it; it's my job, and like you, I have to keep working. If you want a stress bake, this cake will treat you well. Tahini - not just for hummus! It pairs with chocolate beautifully. 

Stay safe, take care of yourself. Keep using your voice to fight for justice. It'll get worse before it gets better. Sending you 💛💛💛

https://jalapenosandanchovies.com/2020/01/10/chocolate-tahini-sheet-cake-with-tahini-frosting/

@mollyyeh #cake #chocolatecake #tahini #chocolate @huffposttaste #sheetcake #foodblogger @thefeedfeed #feedfeed #instacake #stressbaking @chowhound #chowhound #2021 @foodblogfeed #foodblogfeed #january6th #staysafeeveryone
New! A Very Wrong and Offensive Vodka Martini is # New! A Very Wrong and Offensive Vodka Martini is #ontheblog because how else would we send off this trash fire off a year? 

Basically, what I did was take the typical vodka martini ratios, but strained into rocks glasses over ice, then I inelegantly eschewed cocktail skewers in favor of plopping olives straight into the drink. 

It's wrong. It's offensive. It's delicious and appropriate though. Try it, see what you think! 

https://jalapenosandanchovies.com/2020/12/29/a-very-wrong-and-offensive-vodka-martini/

#cocktails #cocktailtime #martini #vodka @chowhound #chowhound #happynewyear #newyearseve @thefeedfeed #feedfeed #vodkamartini #olives #bye2020 #goodriddance2020 @huffposttaste #foodblogger #instadrink #drinksofinstagram @foodblogfeed #foodblogfeed #love #stayhomesavelives #drinkup #besafe
New! Kale and Bacon Hash Brown Casserole! For an New! Kale and Bacon Hash Brown Casserole! 

For anyone needing a filling, leisurely brunch this week, it's full of kale, crispy bacon, eggs, two cheeses, and hash browns, and it's so comforting and delicious! 

https://jalapenosandanchovies.com/2020/12/21/kale-and-bacon-hash-brown-casserole/

@joannagaines #magnoliatable #casserole #bacon #kale @chowhound #chowhound #cheeseplease #eggcasserole #cookbook @huffposttaste #foodblogger #brunch #breakfast #richandhearty @thefeedfeed #feedfeed #staub @staub_usa @foodblogfeed #foodblogfeed #cheesygoodness #2020isalmostover #comfortfood #newyearsbrunch
Sausage and Sage Biscuits! Merry Christmas Eve to Sausage and Sage Biscuits! Merry Christmas Eve to all who celebrate it! 
I love these biscuits, flaky and studded with bits of meat and earthy sage, because they remind me of my mom's Christmas Morning Sausage Balls, but, they're maybe more sophisticated? That doesn't stop me from making my mom's, mind you 😉
If you need a brunch idea for tomorrow, there's time to pull these biscuits off! Our any other morning works too. 

Mom's Sausage Balls:
Mix 3 cups Bisquick, 1 lb raw breakfast sausage & 12 oz grated cheddar until combined (this takes forever) then roll into balls and bake at 350 F about 15 minutes

https://jalapenosandanchovies.com/2019/12/23/sausage-and-sage-biscuits/

@bigfoodbiglove #bigfoodbiglove #biscuits #sausage #sage @huffposttaste #brunch #breakfast #christmasmorning @thefeedfeed #feedfeed #foodblogger @chowhound #chowhound #breakfastsausage #christmaseve @foodblogfeed #foodblogfeed #savorybaking #merrychristmas
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2021 Jalapenos & Anchovies on the Foodie Pro Theme

We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.Ok